Happy 2nd Birthday Riley and Other Stuff

Trying to Get Back to Normal

The rose she was given in the hospital

 We all miss Kyla and think of her often.  It's hard not to when you feel like something is missing. Spring has come and it is beautiful but something is not quite right. Sometimes it feels like none of this happened at all because the physical markers have left, but that makes me sad too.  I think about Kyla when I am playing with Riley outside and I think that it shouldn't be this easy, we were supposed to have a newborn in March.  I think about her when I see people with multiple children and I notice how they differ and how they are similar.  It reminds me of what we have lost. It's spring and I feel like we have been cheated because we were so close to meeting her. I could picture it all.  It took time to build that picture but it didn't take long for it all to get ripped away.  For weeks I wandered around like I didn't know what I was doing.  It felt like something awful happened but I didn't realize it yet, like I still had that baby coming in March.  All it took was me getting dressed after a shower and seeing how a maternity shirt just sagged to make me cry and make me remember that March was no longer a promise.
     Today I was buying mangos and a man noticed Riley in the cart and said "oh what a fun age" then he asked if she was my only child and I didn't know what to say.  I find myself wanting to tell everyone, being uncomfortable with the fact that it's hard to prove her existence and she means a lot to me.

 Aunt Stacy comes for a visit

 Making Dog Biscuits for Dante

Riley had a lot of fun playing with the dough while we were mixing it up. It got dropped on the floor a few times but luckily the recipient doesn't really mind that kind of thing.  The only not so fun part for Riley was when I actually wanted to bake the dough. She would have played all day.

 Easter Egg Hunt

I went down to Ottumwa a while ago to spend time with Stacy and the kids. We did a little egg hunt that was fun.  Liam pretty much got all the eggs while Riley happily ran around the yard with her basket.  Olivia seemed to have fun just watching everyone.  Stacy lives in the country and has a lot of space.  Riley and Liam just go wild running.

 Goofing Around With Daddy

 Sitting around in pajamas and snuggling is a cherished weekend activity.

 Dinner at the Brues'

  

It was a beautiful day for playing outside.  Riley loves our weekly dinners. It gives her a chance to run around and play with Chip and Walter. Although something tells me she favors Walter from the way she was snuggling with him in the hammock. 
    I love the way her hair stands up whenever she is in the play cars!

Now that is a face!

They really are growing up too fast

 Happy Birthday Riley!

       









  I can't believe Riley is 2 now!  I love planning a party.  I will admit it, my favorite part is planning the menu but who doesn't love food?  I had fun rearranging the house and moving our furniture so we could fill our house instead with family and laughter.  A wonderful trade.  It was also really comical for me to see our table expanded so large.  Keenan worked some magic and got all six leaves to fit in my grandparents old table, something I could not accomplish last year. 
      Riley really had a lot of fun running around and playing with everyone. She is a really social child, not sure how Keenan and I produced her. Thank you for coming to the party and helping out with transforming the space between different parts of the party.  We love you and can't wait to see you again soon!

So cute!